Somewhere In Between
by crematosis
Summary: It's Bucky and Steve's 500th anniversary and Bucky's hoping to finally take their relationship to the next level. Too bad his angel is totally clueless to all his attempts at seduction.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: For the Marvel Reverse Big Bang, a Good Omens-inspired Stucky fic

There was something to be said about Thursdays. And this particular Thursday had a lot going for it. Not only was it the Thanksgiving holiday for Americans, the grand opening day for sixteen shops in the greater London area, and the birthday of millions of children worldwide, it had a special significance for a certain angel and demon.

It was their anniversary.

Strictly speaking, they were celebrating the 500th anniversary of the day they had made their relationship official. Because that was the sort of milestone that could be celebrated with a nice lunch at a fancy sushi restaurant. But it was also the 1,926th anniversary of the first time they had professed their love to each other, the 6,572nd anniversary of their first kiss and the 7,457th anniversary of the day they had stopped fighting each other.

Steven, the aforementioned angel, was nicely dressed in a starched white shirt, pressed slacks, and cream-colored vest.

In the seat across from him was J. Buchanan, demon. He was not as nicely dressed in a tattered black leather jacket and ripped jeans. He also had his dirty boots propped up on the table.

"I can't take you anywhere, Bucky," Steve said in a world-weary tone. "Is it too much to ask that you-"

"Oh, alright, fine." With a snap of his fingers, Bucky's jacket and jeans stitched themselves back together and his boots gleamed like they were brand new. "Happy now?"

"No." Steve shoved Bucky's feet off the table. "This is one of my favorite restaurants and I'd like you to show a little more respect for the establishment."

"Who cares? No one can see us anyway."

Before sitting down to eat, Bucky had cast a glamor over their table. To any humans looking their way, they were two ordinary businessmen calmly discussing a company merger. Bucky could remove his sunglasses and no one would see his demonic slitted eyes. Hell, he could strip naked and dance on top of the table if he wanted and no one would notice.

"It's the principle of the matter," Steve said with a disdainful sniff. "This place treats me very well and I extend the same courtesy to them."

"Ugh. You angels and your moral obligations." Bucky slouched down in his seat and poked his sushi with a fork. "What's the point in making us practically invisible if we don't take advantage of it? I could have you laid out on the table right now, kissing the life out of you. But no, that would be rude to the restaurant."

Steve's cheeks flushed and he hid his face behind his teacup. "Yes," he said. "That would be rather rude." He nudged Bucky's cup. "It's also rude not to partake of this delicious meal. You haven't even touched your tea."

Bucky took a sip and grimaced. "I don't know why you drink this swill. It just tastes like grass to me."

"Yes, well, there's no accounting for taste, I suppose," Steve said with a sad shake of his head. "But next year, it's your turn to pick the restaurant so you won't have to suffer through another cup of delicious high-grade matcha."

"I think I want Italian. It's been centuries since I've had really good Italian," Bucky lamented.

"You don't even like Italian. I've taken you to Italy nine times already and all you ate was McDonald's."

Steve wouldn't quite call it blasphemy, but it was a very near thing.

"That's not true. I had the shrimp fra diavolo at the one hole in the wall place, whatever it was called. It was good stuff, let me tell you. Nothing as good as what they were coming up with in Renaissance days, but nothing really is."

Steve rolled his eyes. "You only liked it because it sounded demonic."

"Guilty as charged. It's flattering for the demonic ego. So many foods are considered angelic, like angel's food cake or heavenly hash. Demons need their chance for culinary greatness as well."

"That's not true," Steve objected. "You lot have devil's food cake."

"Ah, yes," Bucky said. He leaned forward. "Say, Stevie, you ever wonder what would happen if you mixed angel's food cake and devil's food cake together?"

"A terrible cake, I'd imagine," Steve said. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Bucky picked up a spicy salmon roll with his fingers and popped it into his mouth, ignoring Steve's disapproving glance. "So, what do you say about getting sake instead of this terrible tea?"

"It's not even noon."

"So what? The best way to celebrate is with drunken excess. And it's been a while since I've been drunk."

As a demon, Bucky couldn't get drunk unless he willed it. It allowed him to easily win souls from stupid frat boys who thought they could drink anyone under the table, but there wasn't a lot of fun in that. Bucky didn't like the taste of alcohol and if he wasn't getting drunk, he didn't see the point.

"I don't think that's wise," Steve said. "I know how you get when you're drunk. The illusion only works as long as you maintain it and I doubt you'll be in any shape to keep up appearances once you're drunk."

Bucky shrugged. "Fair enough. So, your place or mine?"

"Ours," Steve said with a frown. "We both agreed-"

"Neither of our homes here are safe locations. Our superiors could pop in at any moment to check up on us. Yes, yes, I know. It's just a human saying. Something romantic."

"Romantic," Steve said suspiciously.

"Hey, so, why don't we get on out of here?" Bucky jumped to his feet. "If you're not in the mood for sake, I'm sure we have plenty of bourbon left." For probably obvious reasons, once Steve had discovered Angel's Envy bourbon, he would drink nothing else.

"You want to leave already? You don't want to at least stay long enough for a bowl of ice cream or some mochi?"

"I don't know, Stevie. Are they green tea-flavored?"

"Yeah, okay, maybe we should head back to the safe house now."

Steve settled up the bill, making sure to leave a generous tip for Maggie, the young waitress. She was a single mother with two children and he knew she could use the extra money.

She smiled at Steve warmly and waved as he and Bucky exited the restaurant. "Have a good day, Mr. Rogers. Hope to see you next week."

Bucky snorted derisively. "Really? You picked Rogers as your new last name?"

"I'll have you know that Mister Rogers is highly regarded in Heaven as a Very Good Person," Steve said defensively.

"Down in Hell, we mostly see him as an obnoxiously kind person with a sweater obsession." He eyed Steve critically. "Must be where you get your fashion sense from."

"Yeah well, that jacket you always wear is ridiculous too. It makes you look like...like Tom Cruise."

Bucky gasped. "You take that back. It makes me look like Elvis. Coincidentally, did the people upstairs ever come to any decision on whether his music was corrupting the youth?"

Steve stared at him. "That was years ago, Buck. Elvis isn't even around anymore."

"I know, I know. But music's not my department. I hear gossip now and then about celebrities selling their souls for fame, but other than that I don't hear much. Could always go look it up for myself, I suppose. But why bother?" He adjusted the collar of his jacket. "Even if it turns out Elvis didn't make our list of Bad People, it's still a cool jacket. Better than your sweater vests."

"This isn't a sweater vest, jerk."

"It's still terrible. In fact, I think you should just take it off. You'll look better without it."

Steve just rolled his eyes and stood pointedly next to Bucky's Hellcat, waiting for him to unlock the passenger's side.

Well, it had been worth a shot.

Bucky slid into the driver's seat. "I think getting drunk will do you good. It'll help get that stick out of your ass."

Steve frowned. "What stick? I don't have anything in my ass."

"Exactly," Bucky said with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle.

Steve shuddered. "I knew you demons had strange practices, but I wasn't aware you tortured yourselves for fun."

"It's not torture if it's-well, never mind." Bucky shook his head and reached for the gear shift.

Steve grabbed Bucky's hand. "You need to stop the nonsense with the sticks, Buck. I don't like hearing about you hurting yourself."

Bucky stared down at Steve's hand. "Yeah, no. No sticks, I promise."

Steve smiled brightly. "Good. Glad to hear it."

Bucky cleared his throat and shifted the car into drive. "Speaking of hearing, there's this song I thought you might like. It's called "Kissed by an Angel."

"That does sound lovely," Steve said.

But what came out of the car speakers was "The Show Must Go On".

"Damn," Bucky said with a heavy sigh. He popped the tape out and stared at it sadly. Another perfectly good cassette turned to Queen. "Well, never mind. I'll find another copy later." He opened the glove box. "Here, Stevie, you pick a tape."

Steve rifled through Bucky's collection. "Oh, Glen Miller, Isn't this the tape I loaned you last month?"

Bucky froze. "Oh," he said with a nervous laugh. "Have I had it that long?"

"Oh, I don't mind. A month is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's barely a blip on the radar."

Steve slid the tape into the player and frowned as the opening strains of "Fat Bottomed Girls" began to play. "This doesn't sound like Glen Miller. It's…" His eyes went wide. "Well, these lyrics are inappropriate." He reached over and fiddled with the knobs.

"Another One Bites the Dust" blared from the car's speakers.

"Oh, no. That's just wrong. It's all wrong." Steve hastily ejected the tape and stared at it in dismay. "Bucky, what have you done to my cassette?"

"It's the damn car," Bucky grumbled. "Leave any tape in it long enough and it becomes The Best of Queen."

Steve wilted. "So that means…?"

"I'm afraid so." Bucky gingerly patted Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Stevie. I really am."

Steve forced a smile. "It's not like it's the only Glen Miller tape in existence. I'll find another."

"I'll find another," Bucky corrected. "Consider it an anniversary present."

"That's so sweet of you, Buck." He frowned. "I'm afraid I don't have a present for you at the moment. I wasn't aware we were exchanging gifts this year."

"You don't need to get me anything, Stevie. Your kisses are better than anything money could buy." He inclined his head in Steve's direction. "So lay one on me, sugar."

Steve pressed a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek and then hunched back in his seat, his face bright red. "That's...that's enough for now. Keep your eyes on the road."

Bucky chuckled. "Look at you, blushing like a virgin."

"That's because I am a virgin."

Bucky's brain came screeching to a halt. "What?"

"You can't just come to a stop in the middle of the road, Buck," Steve protested. "People hate that sort of thing."

A car honked behind them.

"You see?" Steve stuck his head out the window. "Sorry about him! He's having some kind of mental breakdown. He's not normally the kind of idiot who stops in the middle of the road."

Or maybe he was. Demons liked causing trouble and mischief. Maybe holding up traffic was something Bucky did for fun.

Bucky grabbed Steve by the back of the shirt and hauled him back into the car. "Damnit, Stevie. You can't just say stuff like that."

Steve huffed and smoothed down his vest. "I was just informing the people behind us that-"

"Forget about that for a second. Great lord below, Steve. You're a virgin. This changes everything."

"It changes nothing. I'm still your lover, Buck."

Bucky let out a bark of hysterical laughter. "We're not lovers, Steve. I've never made love to you."

Steve shrugged. "Romantic partners just doesn't have the same ring to it."

With an aggressive jerk of the wheel, Bucky wrenched the car over to the side of the road. "I can't. I just can't deal with this right now."

"Then let me drive." Steve reached for the steering wheel.

Bucky swatted his hand away. "Only demons can drive a Hellcat."

Steve rolled his eyes. "If you say so, Buck."

Bucky jabbed a finger into Steve's chest. "Don't think you're getting out of this conversation. We're having a good, long talk about this once we're home." He shifted the car back into drive.

Home. Steve smiled and leaned back in his seat. He would never get tired of hearing Bucky call their hideout home. Although neither of them actually lived in the place, it was where they both felt the most comfortable.

Bucky gave Steve a sidelong look. "Any particular reason why you're still a virgin? You don't have anything against sex, do you?"

He'd always assumed angels just took things very, very slowly. After all, two of Steve's angel buddies were only just having their first child after two hundred years together. And when Steve brushed off all his attempts at flirting, he had assumed the angel just wasn't ready yet. But going without sex for five hundred years was almost more than Bucky could stand. If Steve never wanted sex, he was going to have to ask for an open relationship.

Steve shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. I suppose I was always waiting for the right partner, the right time, the right mood. It just never happened. I'm used to it now. You can't miss what you've never had."

"But there has to be a point where it becomes a liability. Say you got captured by a cult keen on using you as a virgin sacrifice, for example."

"They wouldn't sacrifice me," Steve said indignantly. "I'm an angel."

"What if they don't know that?"

"How would they know I'm a virgin but not know I'm an angel?"

Bucky huffed. "I don't know. It's a hypothetical situation."

Steve shook his head sadly. "If you came up with the hypothetical situation, then hypothetically, you should know all the details."

"Jesus Christ, Stevie. I'm just saying we should do something about your virginity before you get stuck that way for an eternity."

"Well, why didn't you say that in the first place? I've been waiting for you to ask."

Oh, for fuck's sake.

It took a minor miracle for Bucky not to run the car straight into a tree. But somehow, he kept the car on the road until they made it to the abandoned Delco manufacturing plant.

"Home sweet home," Bucky announced as he got out of the car.

"Home," Steve agreed with a happy sigh.

He had a fully furnished apartment in Brooklyn with comfortable reading chairs, an antique dining table, and a neatly organized desk. But it wasn't exactly private. His superiors and coworkers dropped in unannounced all the time, usually just when he had gotten to the exciting parts in his favorite books.

When he had started dating Bucky, he needed someplace secret he could go to hide from the angels because they would kill Bucky if they knew. The abandoned factory hadn't been a pleasant place to hang around in at first, but once the two of them got rid of all the spiders, cockroaches, termites, ants, and small-time drug dealers, it wasn't half bad. A little decrepit, but nothing that couldn't be fixed up. Due to the sheer size of the place, it would take quite some time for the whole building to be livable, but they had carved out a few rooms to make their own.

Steve had set up a library in a room the size of his apartment and was slowly filling up the wall to wall bookshelves with as many books as he could find. Bucky built some sort of greenhouse that was full of suspiciously lush greenery.

"Glamor's back in place," Bucky announced.

Steve rolled his shoulders and manifested his wings with a groan of relief. He loved humanity, but hiding his beautiful wings was a hardship sometimes. Luckily, Bucky was a master of illusion and all the humans would ever see was a completely abandoned building.

Like most angels, Steve had big, fluffy white wings that were as soft as clouds when touched but strong enough to act as a shield if he was ever attacked.

Bucky's wings were like the shadows of Steve's. They were just as massive, just as powerful, but they were dark and smoky.

"Sweets for the sweet," Bucky said, producing ice cream out of thin air with a flourish. "And so much better than the gross green tea stuff at the restaurant."

"I'll take the vanilla," Steve said, eagerly reaching for the cone. "Vanilla's my favorite."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Of course it is." He licked his strawberry popsicle contemplatively as he watched Steve swirl his tongue around the very tip of the soft serve. "Hey Stevie. Hold my pop for a second. I need my hands free."

Steve obligingly took Buck's popsicle. "For what?"

"This." Bucky rested a hand on Steve's ass.

"Oh," Steve said. "That's not where I thought this was going."

"No? You don't want to be a virgin forever, do you?"

"Definitely not."

"Good." Bucky pinched Steve's ass. "We should do something about it, don't you think?"

Steve squeaked and his cheeks flushed.

"Oh, baby, your ass is fantastic," Bucky purred as he squeezed Steve's ass. "I can't wait to pop your cherry."

Steve blinked and glanced at the popsicle. "But it's strawberry."

"That's...not the point. Stevie, baby, I love you despite your angelic flaws. And I love your body too. I want to get to know every bit of you, in the biblical sense."

Steve opened his mouth.

"No, no, don't say anything to ruin the moment," Bucky said quickly. "Just enjoy yourself."

He slotted his knee between Steve's leg and gently nudged them apart. Steve sighed quietly and wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck. Bucky cringed at the cold chill of ice cream against the back of his neck, but with a snap of his fingers, they disappeared back into the freezer, freeing up Steve's hands to do what they wished.

"Feels good, right?" Bucky said.

"Oh," Steve said breathlessly. "Oh, that's very good."

Bucky chuckled. "You really are a virgin, aren't you?"

"Don't laugh. That's just...not very nice," Steve said sternly.

"Just-Not-Very-Nice is my first name," Bucky said cheerfully. He frowned. "Not the most imposing name for a demon, of course. I got teased about it quite a bit in my younger days. So I've always gone by Buchanan."

"It suits you," Steve said with a decisive nod. "Buchanan, I mean. Although the other one works too, at times." His eyes narrowed.

"I'm sorry, babe. I couldn't resist a little teasing." Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's cheek. "You're absolutely adorable when you're flustered. But I think we ought to take this inside. Wall sex is awesome, but it's not what you want for your first time. We need a comfy couch or a bed."

"We don't have any beds." Neither demons nor angels needed to sleep so there was no point in spending money on beds. Although Steve had seen some bedding with beautiful designs that made him rethink their stance.

"A couch will do. It's not ideal but better than the wall or the floor. At least for now."

Once inside the factory, Bucky made a beeline to the sole couch and flopped across it. "Ah, it's good to just kick back and relax, isn't it, Stevie?"

Steve wilted. "But I want to get back to the kissing and the touching. That felt really nice."

"Yeah, well, I'm not so nice, am I?" Bucky said with a grin.

"Bucky," Steve growled.

Bucky propped his feet up on the coffee table and produced a glass of whiskey. "You've been a virgin for thousands of years. What're a few more minutes?"

"Don't make me discorporate you," Steve threatened.

Bucky waved a hand dismissively. "Minor inconvenience. I'd just have to find myself a new body or share yours if it came down to it." He sat up straighter. "Now there's an idea. There's being inside you and then there's being inside you." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't be ridiculous. An angel and a demon sharing a body? We'd probably explode."

"Yeah, but what a way to go." Bucky grinned widely. "Don't tell me you're not curious."

"About exploding?"

"No, idiot. About sex."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Oh, now you want to have sex."

"Steve. I've literally been trying to get into your pants for the last 8000 years."

"But I wasn't wearing pants 8000 years ago."

Bucky made a strangled sound.

"And besides, we hated each other back then."

"So? I've had hate sex before. It's almost as good as…" Bucky trailed off. "Right. You wouldn't know."

"And I'm never going to know at this rate," Steve growled. He unceremoniously dropped down into Bucky's lap and grabbed a handful of his jacket. "Kiss me now or I'll smite you where you sit."

Well. Alright then.

The kiss started out pretty aggressive, all teeth and tongue, but then Steve relaxed into it and just let Bucky lick into his mouth. Bucky slipped his hands under Steve's vest and flicked open the buttons one by one.

"Much better. Can't believe you were hiding these babies under a hideous vest." Bucky circled Steve's nipples with a fingertip until they stood out prominently under the thin white dress shirt.

Steve arched into his touch. "Bucky," he whined.

"Yes, darling, I know. I'm working on it. You've just got on so many layers." He popped the collar on Steve's shirt and slowly worked his way down the row of buttons. "Ah, there we go. Look at all that beautiful skin. Lay back for me, sweetheart, and let me look at you."

Steve obediently lay back against the couch, face flushed and eyes glassy. God, he was gorgeous. Lust was a good look on him.

"Well?" Steve demanded, squirming under Bucky's gaze.

Bucky followed the flush down Steve's neck and across his chest. "You blush all the way down, don't you?" He peeked under the waistband of Steve's pants. "Oh yes, all the way down."

With help from Steve, Bucky got Steve's pants and underwear pulled down to his ankles. His cockhead was an angry red and Steve sucked in a shuddering breath as Bucky curled one hand around his shaft.

"So, how do you want this to go? I can jack you off real quick. It may not be the most exciting sex act, but you're new to everything so it'll ease you into things. Or we could do anal, but you're already pretty worked up and since you're a virgin you won't last long anyway."

Steve's eyes narrowed and his jaw set in a mulish expression.

Yeah, that had been the wrong thing to say. Steve had a stubborn streak a mile wide and being told he couldn't do something only made him want to do it more.

"Fuck," Bucky groaned.

"Language," Steve scolded.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Stevie? I'm about to fuck you right now, but whoops, I'm not allowed to say that."

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. "Making love."

"Fine. Do you want me to 'make love' to you or do you-"

"Making love. Don't make me repeat myself, Buck."

"Shoulda known you'd be a bossy bottom," Bucky muttered. He shifted onto his knees. "Alright. Spread your legs, Stevie."

He began with rubbing soothing circles over Steve's hip and inner thigh. If he was an angel, he might have been able to make the whole experience pain-free and relax Steve's muscles with a little angel magic. But demons weren't good healers and as sexy as he was, Bucky wasn't a sex demon. There were no shortcuts to pleasure for him. Just a lot of lube and a lot of patience.

At least Steve wasn't as shy and nervous as most virgins Bucky encountered. He was naive and inexperienced, sure, but Steve had never been shy a single day in his existence.

Bucky started with one finger, wiggling and twisting it inside Steve's body until the angel arched his back with a keening cry.

"Good lord, what was that?" Steve panted.

"Your prostate. You know, I bet I could get you to come just with a little prostate massage."

"Bucky," Steve growled.

"Yes, yes, I know. You won't be happy unless I fuck you senseless."

Bucky moved onto two fingers, then three, making sure Steve's passage was good and stretched and taking care not to stimulate his prostate too much. Steve would smite him if he came too soon.

Once Bucky decided Steve was ready, he freed his own erection, slicked up, and started slowly breaching the angel's body.

Steve was breathing hard but he didn't tense up and Bucky pressed into him inch by inch until he was fully sheathed.

"You doing okay, Stevie?"

Steve sucked in a deep breath. "Yeah, I think...just give me a minute." His eyelids fluttered. "Okay, that's...I'm ready."

Bucky waited another few seconds because Steve was Steve, after all. He couldn't be trusted to know his own limits. Then he rocked forward ever so slowly, carefully gauging Steve's face for any signs of discomfort.

"I'm not made of glass, you know." Steve's wings puffed up with indignation.

Bucky smoothed the feathers back down. "I want your first time to be good, baby. You've waited this long. It better be worth it, right?"

Steve subsided back against the couch as Bucky picked up speed and was soon gasping and whimpering beneath him. It was one of the few times he'd seen Steve so open and vulnerable. The rush of power was incredible. Bucky's wings stretched high overhead, flaring out as he snapped his hips forward.

Steve came with a wail, his muscles clenching down around Bucky. And then his whole body lit up with a blinding white light. Bucky squinted against the sudden bright light. "What the hell, Stevie?"

The light faded to a faint glow and Steve beamed at him. "Oh, that felt incredible. Totally rejuvenating. We should do it again."

"Oh, we will. Sex is one of my favorite pastimes." With a snap of his fingers, Bucky transformed his whiskey glass into a champagne flute and summoned a second glass for Steve. "Tomorrow will be the one day anniversary of the first time you had sex. And we ought to celebrate that with more sex."

Steve smiled and accepted the champagne. "I didn't understand your eagerness to have sex before. But now that I do, it's a wonder you weren't trying to have sex with me ages ago."

"I wanted to," Bucky said. "Believe me, I did. But forget about that. I've succeeded in having my wicked way with you. And you got so turned on you literally jumped me."

"I'm sorry for getting so worked up," Steve said sheepishly. "I'm not usually so aggressive."

"Do you remember the war?"

"Which one?"

Both angel and demon had been involved in many, many wars over the course of their existence. Some spiritual and some earthly. And then, of course, were all the incidents that had been called wars that weren't really wars at all, such as the war on Christmas, the trade wars, and the war against emus.

"The war. The big one."

"Ah," Steve said. "Armageddon."

"No, no. Not that one."

Steve shrugged. "It's _the_ war. The ultimate battle of good and evil."

"Well, we haven't gotten to that one yet," Bucky hissed. "I'm talking about World War II, you punk. Your favorite war."

"Angels don't have favorite wars. We mourn the loss of human life and pray that peace is restored."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Spare me the whole innocent act. I know how much you loved fighting the Nazis. I was beginning to worry about you, you know. You got pretty into the whole avenging angel thing."

"Oh," Steve said. "Yes, I suppose I did. I don't like war, you understand. So much pointless death. But if there are any deaths involved, I'd rather it be Nazis. I love when battles are so obviously black and white. The Nazis were just a bunch of jerks and bullies and they had to be stopped."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, bullies is definitely the word I'd use to describe Nazis."

"But yes, I do remember the war," Steve said. He casually sipped his champagne. "What about it?"

"I handled your crazy ass during the war. I can handle you horny. It's a boost to the ego, you know. You're just that desperate for my dick."

Steve's phone went off with gentle, rippling harp music.

Bucky flinched.

"Sorry," Steve said apologetically. "They need me back in the office." He shrugged his shirt back on and searched for where Bucky had tossed his vest.

"The nerve of them. Summoning you on your day off." Bucky shook his head sadly. "I'll give you a ride over."

"No thank you," Steve said immediately. "I'll walk."

"What's the matter? You embarrassed to be seen with a demon, angel? Don't want your supervisors to know about us, hmn?"

"It's not that. It's just.." Steve said. He cleared his throat. "I might have uh, slightly exaggerated your ferocity."

A slow, wicked smile spread across Bucky's face. "You've been lying to your superiors, have you?"

Steve avoided his eyes. "I didn't lie. I just...stretched the truth a bit. I had to. Everyone was wondering why I hadn't killed you off by now. So to avoid suspicion, I may have led everyone to believe that you're due to be promoted to hell-knight at any moment. Everyone will get suspicious when they see you're not some big, fearsome creature."

"Oh, you little devil, you," Bucky crowed triumphantly. "I have been such a bad, bad influence on you. I ought to write this in my monthly report. That'll get me a promotion for sure."

"You can't," Steve said desperately. "You can't write about me in your reports. If my superiors find out about our relationship, it could ruin me."

"Oh, alright," Bucky said with a put-upon sigh.

Tempting an angel into sin would look much better in the reports than tempting some random human. But no big deal, he could always make something up later. Nobody bothered to actually check up on his work so he could claim anything he wanted.

Steve went limp with relief. "I knew there was some good in you after all."

Bucky shifted uncomfortably. "Don't say that. I'm a demon. We're not good. We're not even nice."

"But you are." Steve cupped Bucky's cheek. "My entire angelic career was in your hands. You could have reported me to your superiors, you could have used the information for blackmail."

"Ah, blackmail," Bucky said. "Why didn't I think of that?" He could have insisted they go out to eat only at his favorite restaurants for the next century. He'd never be forced to drink horrible green tea ever again. Fuck, what a wasted opportunity.

Steve smiled warmly. "It never crossed your mind, did it? But another demon would have used that information in a heartbeat. So, yes, I believe there's a lot of goodness in you. Maybe one day you might even get redeemed."

Bucky shook his head. "Once you go bad, you never go back." He gave Steve a critical look. "You know, with all the lying, fucking, and sneaking around you've been doing, I think there's a bad boy under those fluffy white wings. I might actually get you to fall."

Steve's eyes flashed. "I'd like to see you try."

Bucky grinned and slowly rolled up his sleeves. "Challenge accepted, doll."


	2. Chapter 2

Clint was bored. So fucking bored.

He had made the mistake of pranking Fury, the patron demon of anger, and as punishment he had been ordered to guard the gates of Hell.

First of all, they weren't really gates. You took the escalator down a level, walked under a crumbling stone arch, and boom, Hell. Second of all, nobody wanted to be in Hell, not even the demons. Nobody was going to break in. In all the years of Clint's existence, God's kid had been the only one who dared. So truthfully, there was nothing for him to guard. It was just an excuse for Fury to get rid of him for the day.

Clint perked up a little as Bucky's Hellcat pulled into the grand celestial parking lot. Yeah, he really had to be bored if seeing another demon was an exciting event.

Bucky exited the car, followed closely by his angel friend.

It was an open secret that the two of them were dating. Clint didn't know how the two of them explained things away to their superiors and frankly, he didn't care. As long as Bucky did his job, his personal preferences were none of Clint's business. But having a bit of gossip would liven up his day.

Inside the lobby, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's cheek and sent him up the escalator to Heaven.

Clint nodded to Bucky. "Still hanging around with that angel, I see."

Bucky glanced over his shoulder and leaned in closer to Clint. "I'm corrupting him," he said in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Uh-huh, sure," Clint said. "But you better make sure he's not redeeming you at the same time."

Bucky blinked. Now that was a crazy thought. What if they both succeeded so well that they simply swapped places? That was just unacceptable. In the ultimate battle of good and evil, someone had to win eventually. A tie would be such a let-down.

"Well, whatever makes you miserable, I suppose," Clint said with a shrug. He pulled an arrow from his quiver and carefully examined it. If Bucky thought this was an angle he could work, so be it. But Clint was going to stick with corrupting humans and fighting the angels.

Without warning, the angel jumped down from the escalator and pointed at Clint. "Aha, you're the one with the sticks!"

"Stevie, no," Bucky groaned. "It's not what it looks like."

Clint snorted. "Yeah, these are arrows, not sticks."

Steve's face went white. "You shoot Bucky's butt with arrows?"

"Hell no. I ain't no cupid," Clint said scornfully. "Whatever goes on with Buchanan's ass is between you and him."

"And on that note, you're late for your meeting, aren't you?" Bucky steered Steve in the direction of the escalator. "Can't keep the boss man waiting."

"But Bucky," Steve protested. "I need to have a talk with that demon. You don't deserve to be tortured with arrows."

"Stop it, Stevie. You're embarrassing me in front of my coworkers," Bucky hissed.

"I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help. Things aren't as bad as they seem, okay? I'll be fine, I promise." Bucky pressed a quick kiss to Steve's cheek and shoved him onto the escalator. "I'll see you tonight, babe. Italian. My treat."

"I love you," Steve said with an awkward wave. "See you tonight."

Bucky heaved a sigh and slumped against the escalator. "Great lord below. He's going to be the end of me one of these days."

"I still don't see a whole lot of corrupting going on."

Bucky straightened up immediately and glared at Clint. "I'll have you know that I'm pumping him full of evil every day. It's only a matter of time."

Clint pursed his lips. "You're fucking him, aren't you?"

Bucky deflated. "Well, yes."

"So then he's also-"

"Oh no, no, no," Bucky said quickly. "This body is an ancient temple of evil. I don't allow any goodness inside."

"If you were doing so well with your plot, the boss wouldn't be calling you in."

"I didn't get called in today. I just gave Stevie a ride."

"A completely unnecessary effort it turns out," Steve lamented, already coming back down the escalator. "But appreciated all the same."

Bucky started. "Back already? What happened to your presentation?"

"There was a bureaucratic mix-up. I walked in and Grace, Gabriel, and Gertrude were sitting in the lobby so I realized they have my name in their files as Grant Steven, not Steven Grant." He chuckled. "Someone is bound to be doing piles of paperwork right now to rectify that mistake."

"Awesome. So you two dumbasses are getting out of my lobby now, right?"

Steve's eyes narrowed. "I have my eyes on you, foul fiend. If you even think about drawing your bow against my beloved Bucky's ass, I will smite you where you stand."

"Steven," Bucky growled.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Again, I'm not cupid. I don't shoot anybody in the ass."

"See that it stays that way," Steve said warningly.

"Steve," Bucky said soothingly. "Don't get yourself all worked up. Just think of all the time we have now that you're not reporting in. We can go for an early dinner or I can take the time to make you something special."

"Absolutely not. You burn everything. You can't even boil water without burning it."

"I'm a demon," Bucky said defensively. "That's what we do."

"So I'm going to do all the cooking. I'm thinking angel hair pasta with a nice garlic lemon sauce, perhaps some scallops."

"Why can't we have shrimp?"

"I'm not making you shrimp fra diavolo."

"I'm not asking you to. I just don't want scallops. They have this weird, chewy texture. I don't like it."

Steve sighed. "I'll make both. You can pick the scallops out if you must."

"Yes," Bucky said delightedly.

Steve rolled his eyes. "You're unbelievably picky. You're lucky I love you."

Bucky draped his arm over Steve's shoulder. "I sure am."

Clint shook his head and went back to cleaning his arrows. It was none of his business, but Steve seemed like a terrible influence on Bucky. Poor devil.


End file.
